Frugal Parenting
(featured column)

Riches from a Poor Country
by Rachel Keller

Not until I spent just over 8 months overseas in a foreign country did I fully realize how blessed I am to live in America. It’s so easy to take things for granted or complain about what we don’t have, but is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence?  How many times do we say, "If only I had…I could be happy," or "It's not fair! Why does she get all the breaks?"  More...

Does it really matter how much you have or whether you have the latest, greatest invention? Sure, certain conveniences or items may make your life easier. Maybe your circumstances hinder or impede your progress; but ultimately, you decide whether you will be happy and make the best of your situation or whether you will live in the past regretting decisions or wishing you could change your circumstances.

Filipinos lack fancy gadgets, devices, or expensive equipment, yet they do exceptional work with what they have. My seamstress sewed beautiful clothing without a pattern, using only measurements. Imagine my surprise when I visited her shop—a very small room (their “living room” shared by several families). Three antique sewing machines, material, and half-sewn outfits crowded the room. A couple smaller side bedrooms, without windows or door locks, doubled as a fitting room. The whole apartment was much smaller than half my house, yet several families lived and worked there. I own a fancy electronic sewing machine in the States, yet my sewing collection can’t compare to their exquisite work.

My experience in the Philippines taught me many other valuable lessons.

1. Filipinos are hard workers who offer good service. Because labor is so cheap you may not see large expensive equipment. Instead, most things are done by hand whether it’s digging up roads, knocking down or putting up large buildings, or hoisting heavy beams several stories with man-made pulleys.

Am I saying that we shouldn’t use tools and machines? No, anything that makes the job easier is wonderful. But so often we complain and avoid work seeing it as something evil. How much more could we accomplish if we weren’t hesitant to “get our hands dirty”!

2. Be thankful for what you have. Housework takes so much longer in the Philippines due to more dust, smog, and pollution; and since windows are open, everything gets dirty. There are no dishwashers, dryers, and some don’t even have hot water heaters or washing machines. Heat, dirt, and sweat make for frequent clothes change, and clothing wears out faster in the Philippines due to frequent washings and fading from the intense heat of the sun.

Instead of complaining about all the laundry to be done, be thankful that you have a washing machine and don’t have to scrub your clothes by hand. Do you wish for a fancier or bigger house? Be grateful that your whole family doesn’t have to sleep in one room or share a bathroom with 20 other people. Be thankful that you have hot water to wash your dishes or take a shower and air conditioning when the temperatures go above 100F with high humidity.

3. Filipinos are eager to learn, and they study hard. Many know or understand at least two or three languages. They fit 12 years of school into 10 years.

Knowledge is a powerful tool, especially for the individual who knows how to use it wisely. Seek to learn all you can.

4. Filipinos are family oriented. I never saw any nursing homes. Older parents live with a son or daughter. Adult children are very conscious of their aging parents’ needs and do all they can to honor their parents.

Years pass all too quickly. Your parents invested many years of their lives and their hard-earned money taking care of you as a child. Honor them while you have the opportunity before it’s too late.

5. People are more important than things. Parties are often open invitations to anyone. If you receive an invitation to a party, wedding, etc, and can’t attend, you may pass your invitation to someone else or bring along another friend in place of the person who can’t come. (This is very common and happened at our birthday parties. We were thrilled to have the extra friends come.)

Why ruin a perfectly good relationship by getting perturbed when a friend ruins our plans or possessions? Things are just that—things. People are far more valuable than any possession which has no emotions and can never last forever. 

6. Slow down and learn to enjoy life. Filipinos are very friendly, and relationships are more important than time. Punctuality takes a back seat to a good conversation. Unlike Americans, Filipinos do not get upset about starting late. Twice, I attended a parent-teacher seminar; both started exactly 45 minutes after the published starting time. 

Traffic may be congested every day; but rather than getting annoyed by crazy drivers, Filipinos adapt. They have learned to give a little and take a little. They don’t honk their horns, yell, or make obscene or ugly gestures when someone cuts them off. Instead, it’s expected.

Punctuality is essential in an American lifestyle. However, flexibility is also needed. Avoid having your schedule so congested with work and activities that you don’t have time to enjoy family, friends, and your life. Build time buffers, slow down, and take time to smell the roses. 

7. Filipinos are resourceful. They waste nothing and throw very little away. They fix things most Americans would just toss. At a computer shop in the mall, I saw a water-damaged computer from a typhoon completely apart and being repaired.

Now, I’m not suggesting you horde everything but to be more careful before tossing something. Can you reuse it for something else? Would someone else benefit from it? If nothing else, can you recycle it?

The next time you attend a party, a church potluck, a company picnic, or even eat at a restaurant, notice how much food is thrown out. Try eating smaller portions. (Your waistline will thank you!) How about taking home uneaten portions from a restaurant for a snack or another meal? Of course, it’s never a wise choice to keep anything that might be spoiled.

8. Filipinos have less stuff, fewer possessions. Most don’t have cars and many don’t have air conditioning; or if they do, only in the bedrooms. Many Filipinos can barely afford to feed their family let alone a pet. However, many dogs, cats, chickens, and other animals freely roam the streets.

Why rent space just to horde possessions? Save some money and bless someone else by giving away items that you don’t have room for or haven’t used in a couple years. If an item is valuable, you may even be able to earn some money for it.

My husband owns a financial investment business, but occasionally he offers advice to those struggling financially. He’s noticed that generally the more poor an individual is, the more pets they have. Now, pets can be wonderful additions to a family and teach children responsibility. However, if you can’t pay your debts, why spend money caring for pets?

9. I encountered beggars and poor people regularly while in the Philippines. My fair skin announced to everyone that I was a “rich” American. (Even the poorest Americans are “rich” compared to the average Filipino.) While many who beg are truly needed, professional beggars make their living by preying on the sympathies of others.

No matter how much you give away (food, money, etc), the poor are always around. Does that mean you should never give to those in need? No, but it’s far better to teach a person how to earn a living or hire the person for a job than to allow him to become dependent on your resources to survive.

10. Filipinos eat rice, fruits, and vegetables. They know what food is made from, where it comes from and how to grow it. (No going to the store for a frozen dinner or bag of frozen veggies.) Unlike Americans, most Filipinos are a healthy weight. Yes, some Filipinos are overweight; and if you search long enough, you may find an obese Filipino. However, obesity is very rare.

If more Americans learned to eat healthy real food rather than pre-made, processed foods, both weight and health problems would decline. Filipinos have few problems with health issues because of a healthier lifestyle and for not running to the doctor for every sniffle and cough. In addition, they pay for their medical costs with cash.

11. Try something new. Just because something is different doesn’t mean it’s bad. Who knows? You may like it or at least learn to like it. I liked rice, sweet potatoes, and eggplants before going to the Philippines, but I quickly learned to enjoy them regularly I also learned to appreciate new foods such as sayote, patola, kamote tops, alukbati, kangkong, saba, cassava.

12. Trust God in all situations. When the electric bill was due at the end of the week and we didn’t have enough money on hand to pay it, we trusted our Great Provider to send the funds in time. (He did!) When mosquitoes bit and we didn’t know whether they carried dengue fever, or the person coughing or sneezing near us might have tuberculosis (which is very prevalent in the Philippines and highly contagious), we trusted our health to the Great Physician. When we walked, ran, biked, or drove on the overcrowded streets and roads, we trusted our safety to our Great Protector. 

We left the Philippines with mixed emotions. Yes, we were excited about returning to our home and familiar surroundings, but during our eight and a half months, we learned to love the country and the people. We were leaving friends behind. 

Our exhausting, 22-hour flight ended with excitement when we arrived home. The grass was greener, the temperature cooler, and the air fresher. Our girls squealed with delight at seeing the toys and dolls they had left behind. It was like Christmas for them! They were ecstatic to see clover and dandelions in the yard and brought me a huge bouquet. 

I used to think that our city traffic was busy, our yard too small, the houses in our neighborhood too crowded and close together, and the speed bumps in Kroger’s parking lot annoying. After living in a crowded busy city for over 8 months, traffic in the States seemed light, our small yard expanded, we had so much space between houses, and the speed bumps at Kroger were nothing! 

One of our first nights back, I glanced up at the sky and noticed that the moon seemed bigger, and the stars shone more brightly at night. Even the sun seems larger. Now, I know that things really haven’t change. The sun and moon are the same size. The stars shine the same as always. New houses have been built in a couple empty lots in our neighborhood, the traffic is about the same, and our yard has definitely not gotten larger. Yet, everything has changed for me because my perspective has changed. 

Why does the grass seem greener on the other side of the fence? You may not be rich, and sometimes life may not seem fair, but you have so much more than many others around the world. The next time you start to complain or long for what you don’t have, count your many blessings and make the best of what God’s given you.

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Note: Rachel, along with her husband and 5 children, lived as short-term missionaries in the Philippines from September 2009 to May 2010. Though her family is an average middle-class American family, she now knows just how truly rich she is!

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Copyright © 2010 by Rachel Keller. All rights reserved.

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