Financial Journey
(featured column)

Living Frugally Helps Me to Be More Selfless
by Karen Kuebler

Living frugally is about a whole lot more than just saving money.  Frugal people don’t just save pennies, dimes and quarters.  They learn to balance their resources, live within their means, conserve, make do with what they have, determine their needs over their wants, avoid waste, draw on their creativity and resourcefulness, prepare for the future, and much more.  More...

Sometimes, each one of us have the special opportunity to experience one of those “light bulb” moments, or an “aha” lesson.  I recently experienced one of these moments about frugality.  I learned that through being frugal, being prepared, having saved for my needs—I had the opportunity to experience total ‘selflessness’ as a result.  This was a very new experience for me, but I was able to add that being frugal rules out being selfish in my book.

A few nights ago, my husband and I watched an inspiring movie on DVD, “The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio.”  Based on the life of a woman who helped to feed and cloth her family of 10 children through entering contest after contest, this true to life multi-layered story went much deeper than the winning of prizes.

The story began in the 1940’s and shared the lives of Evelyn Ryan, her husband Kelly, and their 10 children who lived in a small home in Defiance, Ohio.  I was truly inspired by this loving mother who taught important principles to her children.  Her husband struggled with alcohol and financial problems throughout their marriage, which put the family in situations of poverty and uncertainty many times. Thank goodness his wife, Evelyn, had an inner peace and happiness that was indestructible.  She kept the family going with her attitude, resourcefulness, the prizes she won, and many she sold.

Of course, I had fun watching her enter contests and win all kinds of wonderful gifts.  What frugalite wouldn’t be inspired by that?  After the movie, I felt motivated to start entering contests which I rarely do.  In those days, maybe it was easier with less applicants, but Evelyn Ryan seemed to win one after another. 

I don’t want to give away the entire story because I think this is a movie that you should add to your ‘must see’ list.  Because of her husband’s serious and multiple problems, this woman had every reason to lead a very unhappy life.  Faced with her same circumstances, I’m not sure how I would have gotten out of bed to face each day.

She chose her attitude.  She was a genuinely happy person who decided to choose each moment her own thoughts, how she would respond, what she would say, and how she would feel.  She set a beautiful example for her children who were often plagued by their father’s negative lifestyle.  She impressed upon them that they had their entire lives ahead of them and they alone would choose how to live their lives.  She impressed upon them the importance of living in the present moment and enjoying the love they shared during that moment.

Two days after watching this movie, my husband and I attended a community event recognizing some prominent citizens who have just retired after 25 to 30 years of service in our community.  They were selling raffle tickets for $10 to give away a P.T. Cruiser that was gleaming in the middle of the room to tempt one and all to buy a ticket.

Of course, after watching this woman win all of these contests, the thought did cross my mind for a minute or two.  Then I said to myself, what need do we have for a third car when there are only two of us and we like the cars we have very much.  I just happened to be hit by the irony of this raffle so quickly after watching the movie.  I was wondering if I am missing out on some great opportunities by not entering contests.

At the end of the night’s event the drums rolled and the winning ticket was drawn.  The woman who had won the car was not present.  Thank goodness she didn’t have to be present to win.  They tried calling her from the stage on two different phone numbers, but were unable to reach her.

One of our friends said that she knew her – they attended the same church together and she would be more than happy to give her the good news.  My husband, our friend, and I decided we didn’t want to wait until the next day so we set out to her house.  We were envisioning ourselves feeling like Ed McMahon or the person who used to crown the “Queen for a Day.”  Remember that fun television program from the 50’s?

As we drove to her house, I learned more about this woman because our friend knew about her circumstances.  She and her husband live within a very modest income.  They can only afford to share one car between them, and they have suffered from a variety of serious health problems in recent years and months.  She works at the church, which is a very low paying job.  Her husband also works nights at a low paying job. 

While we were driving to her home, we received a call from somebody on our cell phone who had located her.  She was at church, working late on a project.  We changed our course and headed toward the church.  We were getting more and more excited as we approached.  We called her and told her not to leave, so when we arrived she was waiting outside.

I can not even begin to express or communicate the joy we all felt when we shared the news with her.  She was in tears, as well as the rest of us.  She was in shock beyond belief and so thankful for this gift.  She told us that when she bought the raffle ticket and dropped it in the bucket, she said a little prayer, “God, if it be your will, I’m leaving it in your hands.”  In my thoughts, I believed that she was probably the only person who purchased a ticket that said a prayer when she bought it!

We had to wait several minutes for us to all calm down and stop crying.  I had never met this woman before, but couldn’t stop hugging her!  As we left, she was heading to her husband’s work to share the good news with him. 

My husband and I drove home filled with elation and joy for this woman.  I realized, and expressed aloud, that I would not have been as happy if I had purchased the ticket and won the car as I was at this very moment for this woman and her husband who did win it!  They were deserving and in such need. 

I realized that “winning” isn’t always about getting the prize yourself.  You can win even more by sharing joy with others.  I am still confounded by the irony in watching the movie about Evelyn Ryan, and then having the opportunity to observe the elation of a deserving citizen in our community win this much needed prize.  I think the universe was trying to teach me an important life lesson – that ‘winning’ isn’t always about acquiring the money or prize for yourself.  When you are living frugally, you very well might not have the needs that so many others experience.  It was an inspiration to continue my life of frugality!

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Copyright © 2006 by Karen Kuebler. All rights reserved.

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