Simple Living
(featured column)

Are you feeling Bankrupt?
by Deann Curtis

It has come to my attention, that a relative of ours thinks our family is a failure.  After pondering his statement for some time, I decided to look up the word failure in my 1828 Webster's Dictionary.  One of the definitions is bankrupt.  Such as a businessman or trader who is a failure is bankrupt.

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We have never been bankrupt financially.  We do not intend to become bankrupt financially or in any other form in the future either.  Financially, we meet our obligations to pay our bills including a sizable amount of consumer debt.  We do this through the help of Consumer Credit Counseling Services.  They have helped us to set our priorities to avoid bankruptcy.

Another definition for fail is to have failing health.  We have worked with medical professionals to avoid medical bankruptcy.  We learn as much as we need to about our illnesses, injuries and other conditions to maintain good health.  We exercise, eat a variety of healthy foods and take care of any illnesses or injuries as they come up.

Someone who is a failure does not thrive.  They cease to grow.  Our family not only grows larger with each addition, it also grows in the way it reaches out to the community.  In the last few years, our family has been involved in several new community groups.  We have joined Camp Fire USA, 4-H and baseball teams.  Through these organizations, our children have been able to give service to others.  They have also learned the thrill of learning new skills and of succeeding at a goal.

Being a homeschool family, we are very much attuned to our children's skills.  We know where they are improving and where they need help.  By seeing their improvement, it is easy to tell, that they are not failing in this area either.

To be fair to our relative though, I can see things from his perspective too.  He sees us as a failure because we work hard and are not at the top of the heap financially.  We are not living in the world's ideal family.  We do not have 1.7 children living in a house with a three car garage.  In fact, we are expecting our eighth child and our garage is not big enough for storage and one car.  We have not bought even our first home yet and don't know when we will be able to.  We live on one income and don't have much of that left over for extras.  Yet, all those extras that seem to be missing from our lives are not really missed.

We have the satisfaction of knowing we are meeting our financial obligations.  Due to our healthy living, we have good health.  We also have the skills and resources to overcome the illnesses and injuries that come our way.  We are thriving as a family.  So much so, that our children are learning to give back to their community.  They are learning new skills each day that will help prepare them for their own lives.  They are achieving social and educational goals as they learn these skills.  They are also learning to enjoy the feeling of success. 

You and your family can also succeed.  If you have been feeling like a failure lately perhaps you could turn a corner and make some changes for your family too.  Maybe you need to change your priorities and set some goals for yourself.  Whatever area you need help with, I am sure you can succeed.  

Even if it means finding someone to help you set your priorities and goals.  You might need to pick someone to help you be accountable to making these changes real in your life.  You could pick a friend, a leader of your faith or even a member of a community service agency.  It really helps to have someone to support you while you are making changes in your life.  

You need to be sure that you are looking at yourself realistically though. After some careful thought and consideration you might decide that you define success and failure different from how most people do.  If having a new sport's car is not really important to you, stop beating yourself up for not having one.  Conversely, if spending more time with your family is important to you, resist the temptation to feel bad about missing overtime the night of your daughter's choir concert.  

In life, we need to measure up, but we need to make sure that we pick the right yard stick to measure up to.

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Copyright © 2003 by Deann Curtis

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